UNBEAUTIFUL MUTATIONS

so my dad an i went out today to get a cap for the truck's bed, because we'd need it for the trip across the country. he got a canopy, i hate it.

the truck seems twice as heavy in the rear, the canopy blocks my blindspot, it's not even a smooth canopy, it's textured, and it make the truck look like a wanna be SUV, but it sucks too hard.

lots of people have told me that they like my truck, the way it was before the canopy, they've called it "nice" "beautiful" "sexy" "awesome" but none of those can describe my truck until that canopy is removed. my truck is ugly, i feel sorry for it, i might even end up crying for it.

i think its name is maria.

FIRESIDE FANTASY

it was alan stokke's 20th birthday, so we went to see a movie, but it was sold out, so we went to a beach to build a fire and whatnot. danille was nicer to me tonight than throughout all of high school, so that was nice. alan and i dealt with the fire, it ended up being pretty nice.

i ended up thinking a lot about nikki, kinda strange, but it was what i was thinking about. she was a big part of my life, and then she was gone. things have been bad between us, things were great between us. there was no secret between us, only 3000 miles were between us. i kinda miss that, and i wonder how she is.

this all ended up with me pushing away allie's gestures of affection.

i miss love.

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO SCIENCE

right now i'm like a blanket that is two sizes too small for it's bed. there just isn't enough of me.

allie would probably like me to leave some of me in gig harbor, keegan dick and alex would like to take some of me to UW, and T Vaughn probably wouldn't mind tossing a disc over at western.

i'm giving blood tomorrow (today) because they called and when i called back to make an appointment, i said that they had called me because they needed donors.

"well we always need donors ::giggle::"
"oh, well of course"

the other day i went up to edmonds to see meg because i was an ass when she came down, but edmonds was fun. more urban than GH but there was more to do. there were also cooler trees. i met her parents and her sister, who were all nice. meg's mom claimed to hear a lot about me, but meg insisted that she barely mentioned me. i talked with her dad about bicycling, which he's a fanatic about, which was nice to find some common ground, otherwise it would've been dreadfully awkward. i was kind of lucky that we didn't talk about the tour de france, because while i was the guy who tried to keep up to date on it, and basically kept informed every three or four stages, according to meg her dad would tape them in the morning (the whole stage courtesy of OLN) and watch them when he got home. we talked a little more about biking and then meg and i left for dinner at tasty thai something, which was good, but i got a piece of celery stuck in my teeth and really couldn't do anything about it.

i'm going to miss meg

i'm probably going to miss everyone, just that was basically the last oppertunity we had to hang out, so i realized how much i'd miss her. in another three weeks, i'll just miss everyone.

i'm supposed to get drunk at mel's party on saturday. i don't think i'll get drunk, i think i'll barely drink. it'll end up being a big class thing for me, and with a control complex i'll drink less to maintain control over myself, but we'll see then, it would be mean not to go to mel's party after she's worked rather hard on it.

i just won't stop remembering daniel jones drinking a beer after playing cricket.

IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

is this what they call peer pressure? everybody wanting me to do something, sometimes conflicting with other people? always conflicting with me?

when someone tries to control what you do, you have to check your priorities against the demands of the person.

my priorities:
1. have fun
2. finish projects
3. leave on a good note with everyone

i'll be working on these

state of the dieter address

it is nighttime and it has been quite some time since i last posted.

the state of the dieter is poor, he is leaving in little more than three weeks, and everyone and anyone wants some of his time. but when he wants some of his own time, there is a conflict of interest, and someone is hurt. not even close friends can escape such risks.

i'm finally excited about c0llege (subject and p.o.v. shift). i was just looking at the rooms in residence halls, and talking with mr. k about college, and stuff, and making a list of things to bring, and it all of the sudden got really exciting. another little nugget of knowledge:

Deet: i applied to engineering, general science, and art
Deet: they all accepted me, but general science was the only one that accepted me on-floor
Timmy k: You should have picked art.  The chicks are hotter.  If they exist at all on the engineering floor, the art ones will still be hotter.   Trust me.

on another note, last week allie called me up and we hung out every day of the week save friday (and the weekend). which is actually a lot. call it escapism, or whatever you want, i won't go into how i feel, except exhausted. all i know is that allie and pip need to get their things straight, because i'm tired of hearing both their stories. call it selfish, call it whatever you want, i'm not listening.

it's time for some me time, or some dieter with other people time. even though the usuals may be the best, you can still overdo a good steak.